Nauvo in the Turku archipelago

I’m across in Finland at the moment for a project based on The Kalevala. Luckily for me, I have a good friend, Tomas, who’s kindly putting me up during my stay, thus reducing the not-insubstantial cost of living whilst over here. He’s also responsible for some of the best photography I’ve seen, and having offered to document my trip, I thought it only fair that I bring some whisky over with me. Several bottles in fact.

Here’s what I arrived with:

Old Pulteney WK499
Talisker 57° North
Benriach Curiositas
Bunnahabhain 34 Year Old
Glenglassaugh 1973 Family Silver 25 Year Old
Isle Of Jura Paps The Sacred Mountain Barolo Cask Finish
Balvenie Single Barrel 15 Year Old

Admittedly, the last four on that list were small sample bottles, but as whisky is at a premium here, I was immediately popular in the Whitehouse household.

As we’ve been saving some of each back for Tomas’ girlfriend’s father, who’s a big whisky fan, we’d found it necessary to buy a couple of extra bottles; a Caol Ila 12 and an Ardbeg 10. The only place you’re permitted to buy wine and spirits (other than in a bar or restaurant) is the state run off-licence called Alko. The hike in price, for whatever reason be it import cost or tax, equates to roughly an extra tenner on a bottle, and in a bar a single of Laphroaig, for example, is a shade over seven quid. Make no mistake, Helsinki is an expensive place to be a malt lover.

However, the sub-zero temperatures almost demand a dram. Coupled with the sauna culture, where it’s de riguer to bake yourself to a crisp, then thrash about in freezing snow, no matter how much you drink, you do not experience the drunkeness that you’d expect with such consumption. I must make it clear, that the intention was never to get absolutely ratted, but that in visiting an old friend, you do end up having slightly more than your recommended units.

Whisky is something that should always be treated with respect, and I for one, shall be having an almighty detox upon my return home.

A warming dram in a cottage in Nauvo

But in the meantime, Sláinte!

Slàinte mhath! A very Happy New Year to you all.

Although we’ve only just said farewell to last year, I’m going to ask you all to come on a journey with me back through time….

Cast your minds back to seven months ago, and some of you may recall that on the 12th June we staged a mammoth tasting of twelve blends. It was a great night, and although it may have taken us a while to collect our thoughts in the few days following, the feedback that we got showed that a lot of you out there welcomed the chance to get more acquainted with the vatted, the grain, and the blends.

So why the big delay in the blogging? Well, between us we’ve been incredibly busy over the last few months. Dubber’s been globetrotting away like there’s no tomorrow (Holland, Denmark, Canada, Germany, Belgium, India) whilst I have been thoroughly consumed by fatherhood and all that that entails. So I’m hoping that you can see your way to excusing us on these grounds….?

It being the time for resolutions, we’ve got it in our heads to do a power of blogging this year – and we’ve got some big things planned…

In the meantime, below are our tasting notes from “The Night Of The Twelve Blends”:

Whyte & Mackay Old Luxury 19 Year Old

Nose: sherry, almond, rope, butterscotch, almond, vanilla notes, oak
comes through also, redcurrant, guava, chocolate
Palate: interesting unexpected meaty note, toffee, treacle
Finish: raspberry jam, black pepper, more cocoa, a tiny bit of
salt, orange Chewits

Whyte & Mackay Supreme 22 Year Old

Nose: yacht varnish, acetone note – not unpleasant – giving way to loads of nuts, sherry, slight prickle in the nose, touch more smoke, and pepper, cream top note
Palate: Buttery smooth, floral and light, but also solidly nutty… Madeira cake
Finish: get a load of cocoa, carrot, green apple, rhubarb and vanilla custard

Pig’s Nose

Nose: Milk chews, pannetone, heather, vanilla
Palate: oranges, coconut, marshmallow, cheescake base
Finish: cereal notes, bread and butter pudding, lemon and lime, tamarillos

Sheep Dip

Nose: Sawn timber, raked leaves, oranges again
Palate: Tannin, barley sugars, more citrus, wet cardboard
Finish: Woody, medium length, nutty, slight sherry tone, pistachio, quinine

Black Bottle

Nose: smoke
Palate: leather, brine, smoke, tar, charcoal
Finish: long, Smoke, a touch of chili and chocolate…

Monkey Shoulder

Nose: banana
Palate: honey, heather, gooseberry, cereal
Finish: short – more banana, pineapple – astringent – unremarkable (but quaffable).

Compass Box Oak Cross

Nose: Fresh mint, ginger, cloves, honey, toast, cinnamon, grapes and floral notes. Warm & friendly.
Palate: Soft, grassy, fresh and pleasant. Pine and fruit.
Finish: vanilla, vanilla, vanilla. Overwhelming oak – in a good way. Very enjoyable and approachable.

Compass Box Asyla

Nose: Lemon, Pineapple – fruit salad, custard creams. Very light.
Palate: cereal, cream, vanilla.
Finish: smooth, medium, short, meaty note.

Compass Box Flaming Heart

Nose: prickly, leather, vanilla, a touch of peat smoke. Vanilla really comes through because of the new oak. Root beer.
Palate: Beautiful mix of smoke and wood. Horseradish, apple, licorice…
Finish: menthol, wood smoke again, pepper, extremely long finish. Really amazingly good. We like this one a lot.

Compass Box Hedonism

Nose: colour is very pale, nose is very light. Macaroons, chocolate box, grassy notes…
Palate: Vanilla ice cream, strawberry, butterscotch – touch of pepper, a little almond. Really impressive stuff.
Finish: Meringue, floral soap, long…

Compass Box Peat Monster

Nose: TCP, surgical spirit, charcoal, brine, pepper, honey & vanilla.
Palate: smoke, seaweed, barbeque, chili, malt, cereal notes, treacle toffee… Rolos.
Finish: brine, cocoa, sherbet, smoke, lengthy finish.

Compass Box Peat Monster Reserve

Nose: liniment, celery salt, smoke, tar, rubber, cream, cereal, burnt
toast, acetone.
Palate: boiled sweets, cocoa, seaweed, black pepper, a meaty note.
Finish: salt, honey, tarry smoke, hazelnut, coffee, long.

To sum up, we were heartily in favour of all things Compass Box, in particular their Flaming Heart, and all we can do is marvel at the quality of the casks John Glaser and his team have managed to get their hands on. Very impressive stuff. Of course, Whyte and Mackay are old hands at choosing the right components for their drams. Mr Paterson and co have a couple of winners on their hands with Old Luxury and the Supreme bottlings.

If you get the chance, check out the others also; Spencerfield’s Pig’s Nose and Sheep Dip are great, and should be supported for their independence alone, something that’s worth championing for it’s own merit sometimes, but especially when concerning whisky!

So, the paternal readership of this will probably be curled up on the sofa with the Sunday papers and a dram in their hand… Doesn’t get much better than that really, eh?

But wait…. Yes it does!

We’ve just been alerted by the lovely people at Jura Distillery, that they’re offering a trip for two to Jura Lodge.

Yes, you too can re-enact the shambolic happenings that we forced the patient locals to endure – or, perhaps you can behave in an altogether more civilized fashion, and restore their faith in humanity…?

Regardless of your course of action, we guarantee that you’ll have a wonderful time amidst some of the most bewitching scenery Scotland has to offer.

There will also be some pretty spectacular whisky involved.

To enter, all you need to do is check out the official blurb:

“Stories, myths and folklore abound on Jura. To sample its idiosyncratic delights first hand we’d like to hear one about you and your father. In 300 words or less weave a tale that involves the pair of you, a little luck and perhaps some Jura. That done and you could be the very fortunate recipient of a stay in the eclectic and unforgettable Jura Lodge on the island itself. It’s a place like no other on an island like no other.”

So get typing, entitle your email “Father’s Day Tale”, and send it to info@isleofjura.com before the 1st August 2009, and if you win, you have to take me. That’s in the rules.*

*It’s not actually in the rules…

Richard’s worked with Bruichladdich, Tamnavulin, Tullibardine and Tomintoul, and now heads up the selection process for what goes into the finest blends in the Whyte & Mackay portfolio, and also cask selection for the single malts of Isle of Jura, Dalmore and Old Fettercairn.

This is a great chance to ask someone with true industry expertise any burning questions you have about the blending or cask selection process.

Richard Paterson will be joining us from 8:30pm GMT online, so make sure you’re there…

You’ll find all the action under the usual hashtag, #twhisky.

We’ve all done it; thinking we know best and turning our noses up at the proffered dram from a bottle that says BLEND on it. But there’s more to it than that.

Vatted, Malt, Blend, Grain – the distinctions will be made, compared and contrasted, and hopefully explained. We’re out to investigate these fickle beasties properly this time, without the aid of cola or Canada Dry, and I already know that there are some that would give even the pricier single malts a run for their money.

As ever, we’ll be tweeting live, going through the tried and tested format of nose/palate/finish under the #twhisky hashtag, so spread the word (and the cost – if you rope a couple of mates in…) and get your weekend off to a sociable start, with a wee bit of knowledge and a couple of opinions thrown in for good measure…

Here are the candidates (you’re bound to be able to lay your hands on at least one of these!):

Whyte & Mackay Old Luxury 19 Year Old
Whyte & Mackay Supreme 22 Year Old
Monkey Shoulder
Pig’s Nose
Sheep Dip
Compass Box Peat Monster
Compass Box Peat Monster Reserve
Compass Box Flaming Heart
Compass Box Asyla
Compass Box Hedonism
Compass Box Oak Cross
Black Bottle

There may be more. There may be special guests.

Look forward to seeing you on the internets.

The real reason we were on Jura a couple of weeks back was to be the first bloggers (and among the very first people in general) to taste the limited edition Paps of Jura bottlings.

The bottles are all signed by Master Distiller Willie Cochrane (he told us it took him three days to sign 1600+ bottles of each one) – and there are, like the mountains themselves, three in the range.

They are from left to right above:

Sacred Mountain: Barolo finish
Colour: Golden hay
Nose: Citrus and cinnamon with lavender.
Palate: Fudge, oranges, fruit salad.
Finish: Short finish, sweet – almost honey.

Mountain of Sound – Claret finish
Colour: Coppery highlights
Nose: Nuts, cloves, citrus peel, grandma’s kitchen.
Palate: Red wine, dark chocolate, caramel, christmas cake.
Finish: Rich and warm, Christmas – nutmeg, eggnog.

Mountain of Gold: Pinot Noir finish
Colour: Golden with ruby highlights.
Nose: Cocoa, exotic fruit, rose.
Palate: Mulled wine, marmalade, aniseed, berries, ground pepper.
Finish: Dry and a little astringent. The pepper remains.

Overall: Of the three, we strongly preferred the Mountain of Sound. That said, it’s not the jewel in Jura’s crown. That honour goes to the 16 year-old. Our favourite of the Jura range, however, is the Earth bottling from the Elements range – which appeals to our taste for the peatier end of the spectrum – and the Super Strength Superstition is something we’re awaiting with bated breath.

For drinking, I’d be hard pushed to justify that type of expenditure on a bottle, but the attraction here is definitely the trio as a centerpiece for the enthusiast’s collection. However, if you’re lucky enough to have that sort of spending cash hanging around, there are not many better choices in this budget range that you could crack open and be assured of not only a talking point due to it’s lovely packaging, but an idiosyncratic dram that truly reflects a part of Jura’s unique character – both the island, and the distillery.

If we ever encounter these bottlings again, I know we’d be instantly reminded of the rugged skyline, and the kindness we were shown, and for me, those are the kind of experiences I treasure when being introduced to something, be it friend, place, or dram.

So the quick way to solve my quandary is to flog all my beautiful bottles of malt I’ve been stashing away for the last twelve months. It’s a painful process, but it’s either that, or I start looking at selling my musical instruments – and there’s no way that’s ever going to happen. That’s a Charlton Heston moment right there…*

I don’t even get to try some of them. Where’s the justice in that? They’re mainly all Islay malts (my favourites), but there’s a couple of incongruities as you’ll see from the roll-call below, but nevertheless, after having lovingly cared for them for so long I feel I should at least taste them.

What I’m getting at is, if there’s somebody out there, who’d like a guided tour of some of the finest malts available, and is willing to buy the bottles from me, and then pay me to host a private tasting session then contact me through this website.

Anyone?

Well, it’s worth a try…

Be quick though, as I’m sticking them up on your friendly neighbourhood auction site and then it’s down to the highest bidder from there on out.

So, in no particular order (well, alphabetically actually…) the candidates are as follows:

ARDBEG 17

This has become as rare as hen’s teeth, but I stumbled upon a bottle recently in a little-known emporium in Brum, if you Google it, you can see it ranges in price from about £190 – £220.

To you, £150. Can’t say fairer than that, can you?

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ARDBEG SERENDIPITY

There are a few opinions as to what really happened in order for this particular bottle to appear on the shelves. It’s two parts Glen Moray (based in Elgin) and eight parts Ardbeg. The Glen Moray is twelve years old, but there’s dispute as to whether the eighty percent Ardbeg is either from the 17 year old (see above) or the more mature Lord Of The Isles, which is a 25 year old. Serendipity’s not crazily expensive, but more than your average bottle in your local supermarket.

£55? *SOLD!*

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BOWMORE ENIGMA

Same as above. If you’re trying on pairs of expensive sunglasses before you jet off somewhere exotic, and you hang around the drinks concession long enough, chances are you’ll be offered a snifter of something like this.

This is lovely stuff. Too lovely. In fact, I’m still reeling from the bottle my brother grabbed for me last year, when he came down for my stag do.

The preceding night’s events were indeed, an Enigma the following morning.

Thankfully, Dubber has not seen fit to publish any footage.

£40 (for the litre bottle, not the footage. That’s priceless…)

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BOWMORE FEIS ILE 2008

Every year the Feis Ile is held on Islay. It sounds great, and this year we were going to go, but I want to see my baby and support my wife, so we’re not. Instead, we’ll enlist the help of others, and have different whisky adventures later in the year. So keep yer peepers peeled, as no doubt tales will appear here.

I picked up this bottle last year in Bowmore Distillery’s shop. 800 bottles, and this is a relatively young one at 8 years old. It’s cask strength at 57.4% abv, and numbered (226 of 800) and signed by the distillery manager, Eddie MacAffer.

It also comes in a nice bag made from kelpie’s hide.**

£110

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BRUICHLADDICH ROCKS

Why is this included? A common bottling of Bruichladdich, surely?

Look at the packaging. See it’s lustre, it’s silky coat, and realise, that this is NO LONGER AVAILABLE!

Basically it’s the old-style tin, before they changed it to this.

For ‘Laddich completists everywhere…

£40

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GLENGLASSAUGH FAMILY SILVER

A malt dear to my heart. I used to live in the cottages at Glenglassaugh, when I was about three or four years old. It’s a beautiful part of the world, and I spent many an afternoon on nearby Sandend beach.

This distillery was mothballed between 1986 and the end of last year when it was re-opened. I was lucky enough to have a couple of bottles of this, and I gave one of them to Dubber last year when his parents came to visit from New Zealand.

Well, you would have a dry mouth after a flight halfway ’round the world, wouldn’t you?

It’s a 25 year old, distilled before I was born, and it’s very thin on the ground now.

£120

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LAGAVULIN 21

I can’t believe I’m letting this go. After our amazing experience at Lagavulin last year, I’m amazed that I’m able to put this one up for sale. It’s number 5050 (so if you don’t like music, maybe it’s meant for you…) out of 6642.

I don’t want to talk about it anymore….

Just take it… *sniff*

£200 *SOLD!*

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LAPHROAIG 10 YEAR OLD (PRE-ROYAL WARRANT)

Again, another hidden treasure I found in my Aladdin’s cave of malts in Birmingham.

In 1994, Laphroaig were awarded the Royal Warrant by appointment to HRH Prince Of Wales on 1st January. All bottles since have carried the three-feathered crest, as seen on most Laphroaig packaging.

As this bottle of ten year old Laphroaig, does not have it, it dates it prior to that, although I’m having trouble putting an exact date on it.

I’ve had it valued though, and I’m letting it go for below what it’s worth:

£80

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LAPHROAIG 30 YEAR OLD

This is the daddy.

There’s an empty bottle of this sat atop my kitchen units, as a fond memento of the occasion when a friend, whom I’d not seen in some time, came down to visit me.

So, I opened the bottle, and we shared a very, VERY, nice drop.

I’d been given the bottle for my thirtieth birthday, by my overly-generous parents, and thought I’d hang onto it. But I couldn’t resist.

I later found out how much these bottles were going for.

£300 (Bargain!) *SOLD*

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LAPHROAIG ROYAL WARRANT

As I explained earlier, besides having a penchant for architecture and organic foods, Prince Charles like a dram of Laphroaig.

I’d need a stiff drink too if this had happened to me.

(I did have two bottles, but one is now winging it’s way to Bristol! Just the one left now…)

£220

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OCTOMORE FUTURES 2002

At the time it was the peatiest whisky available at 80.5 ppm (That’s the phenolic content in parts per million), but it was quickly usurped by another Octomore from the Bruichladdich stable, which was, in turn thoroughly trounced by Ardbeg Supernova in the peatiness stakes.

Where will it all end? If things get much peatier, we’ll be donning wellies before we raise a glass…

It’s a limited edition, bottle number 5578 out of 9600, and it’s bottled at 46% abv.

You had to invest in a case of twelve to get your hands on some originally, so here’s a rare chance to buy one bottle on it’s own.

£85

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So, although I’m loathe to let these go (did I mention that?), needs must. Unfortunately, these are non-negotiable prices due to what I’ve paid in the past, and their realistic value. They are not over-inflated prices however, and in fact, if you know your stuff, you’ll be pleasantly surprised to see that they’re under the going rate. Obviously, shipping’s going to be more on top, and I’d recommend insurance also.

If any of you are interested out there, get in touch via the website.

There’s one very special bottle being kept back for toasting my newborn son, which we’ll tell you all about.

Apparently that’s not a good enough reason for me to want him to arrive early, according to my non-whisky-drinking wife.

Sláinte!

* Dubber and Clutch, in no way, agree with, or condone anything this maniac has ever said. Anyway, he was on Earth THE WHOLE TIME!

** It’s actually just some kind of faux-velvet…

I’m selling these bottles as collector’s items, being that they are rare and collectible bottlings, generally not available in normal retail outlets.

For the avoidance of any doubt:

The value of each listed bottle is in the collectible container, not its contents.

The container has not been opened, but any incidental contents are
not intended for consumption.

The container has a value that substantially exceeds the current retail price of the
liquid in the container.

As the seller, I will take steps to ensure that the buyer of the collectible container is of lawful age.

I had the good fortune of having to accompany my wife, Collette, to Oban, the day after our very first Twhisky event, which we held to coincide with the 250th anniversary of Robert Burns birthday. Oban’s a beautiful town situated on the shoreline of the west coast of Scotland, and it’s known as “The Gateway to the Western Isles”, most of these islands serving as fertile whisky producing areas. At such close proximity to the Atlantic, despite the diversity of characters these island malts span, they all share a degree of the maritime influence, which most say is a direct effect of their proximity to the sea.

The evening we arrived, my parent’s had driven down to meet us from Speyside in their camper van, so we headed out for a bite to eat together. We chose the Cuan Mor Gastropub on George Street, as we’d been there last April and remembered it as being good honest food, with unpretentious and warm service. The fish was as expected, fresh and fantastically cooked, and although it was ‘just’ fish and chips, it was everything I remember about having grown up in a coastal community and the abundance of food divorced from a chain of freezing, packing, shipping and then re-freezing. Taste the bloody difference indeed.

I thought it was only fair that I pair my scran with the geographically-correct whisky, and ordered an Oban 14. It’s got a citrus-y nose, with just the right amount of esters in it to do a fish supper justice without overpowering you. The whiff of lemon and salad wasn’t just coming from the plate in front of me! In the mouth, Oban’s velvety and smooth, with a touch of pine. The finish is abrupt, but warm, like strong advice from a good friend. After somehow managing to find room for an amazing apple tart with vanilla ice-cream (sometimes you just want the classics…) we settled up, and I waddled out the door.

So our parents dropped us off at the B&B we were staying at called Alltavona, which was situated on the esplanade heading towards Ganavan Sands, which was where the camper was due to settle for the night. So, I knew that my Dad has a habit of keeping the wagon well stocked, and I enquired as to which miniatures were accompanying him on his travels. So, I headed off to bed with a Glenmorangie 10 as a nightcap.

The next morning, I set off for the half-hour trek out to the beach to grab a cup of tea with my parents whilst Collette sorted out a few work related issues back at Alltavona. As I walked along, it occurred me to give Oban Distillery a quick ring and see if there was any chance of a quick chat with someone about their particular malt and what goes into the process of making it there. So I rang the number I had for it, and explained to the guy on the other end what I was after, and about the blog, and Twhisky etc… The very helpful chap enquired at the end of my reply, “What’s your name again? Ok, I’ll have to run it past the marketing department…” to which I said “No problem, and what’s your name please?”

“Oh, I’m Kenny Gray, distillery manager here at Oban… Anyway, leave it with me, they’re usually fine about such things, and I’m always happy to talk to someone who’s enthusiastic about whisky. I’ll give you a call back shortly.”

Fantastic! I thought.

Kenny Gray’s got forty years of whisky experience under his belt, and he’s worked at Glen Esk, Glen Ord (also looking after Teaninich at the same time) and Port Ellen, and recently has been given a lifetime achievement award along with Willie Tait from the not-too-distant Jura distillery at 2008’s Malt Advocate Whisky Awards. Also, I doubt there’s anyone else in the industry that has a better understanding of the chemical processes at work inside the husks of the malt itself, given Kenny’s background in science, having worked himself under Magnus Pyke.

Before I knew it, it was three o’clock and time for my meeting. I was greeted by Paul Cummins who’s one of Process Operators working there, and was shown straight up to Kenny’s office and greeted by the man himself.

Over the course of the following hour and a half I was treated to my own private lesson in the art of distilling, from a man who could have easily been reading from a chemistry degree textbook, but who was as gracious with his explanations to the scientific layman that sat in front of him (myself) as he was with his generosity when it came to sending me on my way with a very special parting gift – more of which later.

The thing that stuck in my mind most upon leaving was Kenny’s genuine passion and fascination for what he called “the package”. He explained to me that barley has all of the properties and systems required to turn from grain into distillate merely by the application of water, heat, and a bit of knowledge. Within each grain the starches lie in tandem with the enzymes (alpha-amylase and beta-amylase) necessary to break them down in to the sugars (glucose, fructose and sucrose) which, after the other processes required, will eventually end up as clear, new make spirit, to be placed into casks and left to sleep until ready.

That’s essentially a condensed version of the process Kenny gave me, and he showed no sign of impatience at my frequent interjections for the sake of clarity for my tiny chicken brain, science never having been one of my strong points.

We skimmed the surface of other topics (the new distillery at Roseisle being one) and we then got ‘round to discussing in depth the character of Oban’s malt. Knowing that I’d tried the Oban 14, Kenny asked if I’d had the 1969 32 Year Old. No I’ve not, was my answer.

“Ah, well… Ye can’t leave here without trying that. Here’s the last bottle in the distillery.”

I’d actually seen a bottle of this earlier in the day, and had asked the guy in the shop if I could have a look at it (top shelf gear) to check out the notes on the back. I noticed the price was £275, and heeded my Dad’s advice to “put it back before you drop it…”!!

At 55.1% ABV, it’s a hefty dram, and I’m not sure where it would sit in an evening’s schedule. I don’t know if it’s pre or post eating, but I’d like to be in the position to try both one day! Its nose is full of citrus, melon, a touch of smoke, and Kenny pointed out his own observation of the aroma of damp sand on the beach. I kind of got what he meant, but my nose was saying brine. I picked out yacht varnish (not weird, I’m a carpenter) and Kenny said that acetone had been noted in it before, so I felt vindicated, knowing full well that Dubber thinks this is hilarious when I mention it.

I took a sip and let it drift over my tongue. It had that silky, smooth oiliness that the 14 has, but turned up to 11. Taste-wise, it was full of honey, a bit of cinnamon (mainly the sharpness, not the spiciness), and also got rhubarb and lemon curd. Really complex, but with an instantly identifiable West Coast overtone to it. Basically, it’s immense.

The finish is a long affair, which just hangs around for ages, saying “Got the message yet?” It’s salty and sandy and astringent and estery, but none of these aspects linger long enough to dominate your perception. It just makes you take another sip in order to try and ascertain a definitive answer. One of THE most unfathomable (in a good way) whiskies I’ve ever had the good fortune to try.

Kenny disappeared for a minute whilst I savoured the dram, and reappeared with a 200ml sample bottle in hand.

“Ye’ll have to take a dram back to your pal Dubber… I’ll no have you windin’ him up aboot havin’ tried this whilst he’s stuck doon in Birmingham.”

Kenny, you’re too kind. I mean, I was kind of looking forward to that bit…

After I’d caught my breath at Kenny’s dispensation of about seventy-odd quids worth of malt, he then offered me a quick tour of the distillery, saying, “I know you’ve been on tours before, so I’ll spare you the patter, and just show you the place quickly.”

There’s only two stills at Oban, beautifully maintained, and the lyne arm leads off in to the unusual rectangular wormtub which sits on the roof, before the pipes return the precious stuff to the spirit safe. It’s one of the smallest producers in the whisky industry and the quality of the whisky is testament to the wise decision not to ramp up production for the sake of profit.

Oban’s a beautiful town, in a beautiful setting, and if you head that way in search of a boat to peatier country, don’t forget to give this place it’s due. You’ll be rewarded with the finest of everything if you spend the time there. The distillery’s a treasure, and Kenny’s due to retire in March, so count yourself lucky if you get there in time to meet him.

One of my ‘things to do before I die’ has always been to visit one of the few beaches in the world that purport to have singing sands.

It’s a type of beach with special sand composition from specific rock (don’t ask me which) that when conditions are right, apparently produce tones when walked across or the wind blows through them.

So on our last day on Islay, after a fantastic outdoor tour of the Bunnahabhain and Caol Ila distilleries, which we didn’t manage to catch whilst open, we set out on our bikes to the Mull of Oa.

I’d known for a while that there was such a beach on Iona, but only recently discovered that there was one on Islay.

The journey consisted of a hilly journey out past Port Ellen Maltings, and then round past the graveyards, and on towards the lighthouse on the opposite side of the bay from Port Ellen.

By the time we got round to the lighthouse it was raining quite heavily, and we stopped to take a few classic lighthouse shots, and enquire of a local fisherman if we were heading in the right direction.

As it was, we then traversed the hill which led, we were assured, round to the sands in question.

The first beach we encountered seemed to be too close to be the location we were looking for, so we pressed onwards through slippery rocks and boggy marsh.

We got as far as another rocky beach, encountered some hostile local goats, took photos of them, and decided to head back. But as the tide was starting to come in, we sat and refreshed ourselves with an Ardbeg 10 year old, just in case we got stranded.

Stopping on the first beach we had come to on our outward journey, we agreed that these were the sands we were looking for.

No singing was heard – other than the impromptu rendition of ‘The Wee Cooper O’ Fife‘, which Dubber insisted I perform in order to fulfill the required singing quotient, and possibly for his amusement…

After that we headed back home after we’d tossed a makeshift caber and paddled knee-deep in the Atlantic.

We had to pedal furiously, downhill, against the wind, but knew that a smorgasbord of fresh seafood awaited.

By and large the locals we encountered on our travels about Islay were all fine characters.

Some individuals in particular stuck in our minds though. They were mostly to be found in The Ardview Inn, which is an establishment located on the shorefront of Port Ellen.

It had been recommended to us by Ashley, the tour guide who worked at Laphroaig. We’d asked where there was a place with a bit of atmosphere and a good selection of malts behind the bar. There’d been a sharp intake of breath from the other staff when they realised where she was sending us.

Certainly a colourful place, with a choice of about two hundred whiskies to choose from, with the added entertainment of some friendly people who wanted to share their opinions with us.

There was Fluorescent Man with Finger Missing, who declared whisky ’shite’ and whose conversation ebbed and flowed with interjections of medium to heavy misogyny and homophobia.

Then there was Tourette’s Amphetamine Lycanthrope, and his brother/ward – I coudn’t tell which… Deaf as a post, and who had to have every answer we supplied to his animated questioning repeated at least three times. He said he’d be joining us on the return journey on the ferry back to Kennacraig.

And there was boring Australian of Greek Descent Pharmacist, who told us statistical stories of drug efficacy. My worry was that he was making my malt less effective and I wanted to place him on medication by force.

The stars of the show though, were our hosts, Adele and Kevin Murphy. Fantastic breakfasts of champions every morning, dried our sodden clothes for us, supplied us with a dram or three, and gave us a guided tour of Islay. Far more than we could ever have expected, and we’d thoroughly recommend their amazing home and warm welcome should you ever decide to visit Islay.

You can’t go wrong.